[youtube]Z78FLx7C4Kc[/youtube]
Hey Bob, we miss ya!
I miss you guys too. Sometimes I wish that I had just kept my damn mouth shut as far as TTiV goes and just remained an anonymous forum poster. Since I dedicated the show to "saving lives and winning souls for Christ" my entire family has been targeted for persecution by the Devil.
I've had two friends die (the latest two weeks ago), my BEST friend has mesothelioma, my wife and mother both contracted liver and colon cancer, my 15-year-old son got his girlfriend pregnant (and defending them from an abusive step-father I was arrested for assault,) and now my wife's chemo has stopped working - they've found two new areas of cancer in her liver and colon, where we thought we had killed it all over the last 31 treatments of FOL-FIRI.
Although her oncologist has a last-ditch treatment called FOL-FOX available, she doesn't give us much hope that it will work. DeLynn may not even be able to tolerate it because the main drug, Oxaliplatin, is known to cause extremely painful neuropathy.
DeLynn was already disabled from Diabetic Neuropathy that she contracted when she was pregnant with our last child. From her feet to her thighs, up the front and back of her torso, and down both arms, she describes the pain from the neuropathy as being "boiled in oil." She has already suffered so much, for so long, I don't know if she'll be able to take this chemo. Or if she even wants to.
She's taken two courses of it so far and the added pain from new neuropathy is plain to see. It breaks my heart to watch her go through it. I would give anything, even taking the pain and the cancer onto myself, if it would free her from it.
I wish that you all could know my wife the way I know her, you'd love her too. She never has a unkind word to say about anyone, she has always put everyone's needs ahead of her own, and she loves her children more than anything in the world. For some strange reason, she also loves me. I could live a hundred lifetimes and never understand what I did that Father saw fit to reward me with this wonderful woman.
And now He's going to take her away...
Just so everyone knows, we have been using as many "alternative" cancer treatments as possible; baking soda and molasses, Apple Cider Vinegar, and adjusting her diet to alkalize her blood to include mostly fresh fruit, grains, and vegetables are all parts of our defense.
"B-17" (also known as Laetrile) is out of the question because it is illegal in all 50 states and even if one can find it it costs several thousand dollars that we do not have.
Medical marijuana is also not an option at the moment for the reasons explained in this episode: "Medical Marijuana: Cure For Cancer Denied To The Poor; Prescribing Drs. Threatened By DEA"
http://bobpowell.blogspot.com/2013/09/medical-marijuana-cure-for-cancer.htmlBasically, if we can afford it and it won't adversely affect her treatment or risk her losing her narcotic pain medication (watch that show above, it'll REALLY piss you off!) we are using it to battle this insidious disease.
Even in the face of almost certain death, my wife is not giving up. She is fighting to live! I am SO proud of this woman; but to watch her suffer like this is almost more than I can bear. This is the main reason that I have not been very active over the past month. I'm spending every minute that I can with her, making sure that she gets all of the nutrition she can keep down, keeping her comfortable, and secure in the knowledge that she is loved and that she is not alone.
It might sound selfish, but I'd like to ask that you keep me in your prayers too. I need the strength that only the Holy Spirit can fill me with. Never in my life have I gone through anything so heartbreaking, so painful, and utterly draining. At least when my daughter died it was sudden and after the initial shock I was able to begin coping; ultimately dedicating TTiV to saving other daughters and sons.
But this is a slow-motion train wreck. I know that the love of my life is going to die and there is nothing short of a straight-from-God miracle that is going to prevent it. I'm trying to prepare myself for it, but I feel like a cold hand is wrapped around my chest, scooping out my insides ever so slowly. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not in Hell already, one of Pinhead's playthings, and I just don't realize it.
So yeah, a few prayers for both of us would be greatly appreciated.
God bless you all for sticking with me through these trying times. That's the literal meaning of "Semper Fi" you know.
Some of the above was copy/pasted from the TTiV Facebook page. I had a hard enough time writing it once.
I want all of you here at Pegasus/Living Moon to know how much we appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers, to thank BTS, Zorgon, Thor, and Amaterasu specifically. Amaterasu designed the TTiV logo for those that were unaware, and I think it's just beautiful. And even though I haven't been active here, or ANY forum for more than a year, to know that the folks here still have my back is a special thing.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I can't wait to meet you when Father finally calls us Home. IDK about you, but I can't wait. I've had just about all I can take of this bullpoop.
God bless and Semper Fi,
Bobby